{ Dashus:land }

9 years...

Today is 9 years since my dear friend Jenn passed away from a battle with cancer. The young girl was only 25 years old. I mean, come on! We were kids when she died. So young and so full of hope. I think about her every single day and always wish she was still here. I learned so much from her and I hope that she'd be proud of what I've accomplished. I adored that girl and miss her so. Jenn - I love you and miss you. xox. If you are on Facebook, feel free to visit her "In memory" page here that I created as a forum to share what you want about this amazing girl. 

Kept safe in my heart...

Today it will be 8 years that my dear friend Jenn passed away after losing her battle with cancer. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and wish she was still alive. I know she lives on inside of me but that is never enough. Jenn was only 25 when she passed away. It still makes by stomach ache when I think about it. Each year on this day I do something to celebrate her life. With the creation of my blog, I've been able to write a post on her and what she means to me. Last year I invited her friends to comment on my blog and I had a ton of responses - read them HERE. This year I decided to use the medium of Facebook to create an online place where folks can share photos, stories, videos and anything else they can think of to honor her amazing life. You can visit the page by clicking here ~ IN MEMORY OF JENN CARLILE FOLEY Facebook Group. I'll never ever get her back but each year I attempt to create little things to keep her spirit alive. Based on the responses so far, she is alive in many folks heart and soul. We were blessed to have known her. She shaped so many of our lives. I miss you, Jenn.

A truly missed woman...

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my courageous, talented, willful, humorous, caring, and beautiful friend Jenn Carlile Foley that passed away 7 years ago today from a fight with Cancer. She was only 25. I still feel a pressure in my chest whenever I think of the moment when I received the news on that hot July day back in the Summer of 2002. I remember my friend Renee calling me as I walked up Astoria Boulevard towards my apartment - a walk Jenn and I had taken back and forth time and time again - telling me that Jenn was no longer with us. Jenn and I went to college together and became even closer after I moved up to New York from Virginia. Jenn was the good time girl. She was a laugher, a kidder, a joker, a friend that everyone trusted. She also had a work ethic that astounded me and everyone she knew. Jenn was the girl that helped me more than anyone when I came up here to New York. She loved me, supported me, talked with me, cried with me - she was there for me. I didn't realize then how much I'd be able to return the favor and let her lean on me. We found a trust in each other up here in NYC that just seemed to grow. Her amazing husband Tony was by her side every single step of the way through her valiant struggle with the various doctor visits, treatments and surgeries as were her amazing Mother and Father. Speaking of her Mother - I will always remember the many bake-offs she and her mother had. They were like two peas in a pod. If you were lucky enough to visit Jenn and Tony's apartment on one of her visits, you were sure to leave the house well fed and well nourished both physically and mentally. Jenn and Tony's entire family was there for Jenn along with their army of friends. Everyone of us who knew her were crushed when she died however like Jenn would have wanted it, it enabled many of us to reconnect in magical ways. A moment that took place at her memorial service, down at Home Port where her remains would be laid to rest, still brings chills to me. A few friends had wandered out to the end of a pier to enjoy the afternoon and be with one another. One friend followed by two, followed by three, followed by a few more until the entire party of Jenn's friends were gathered there together - united - sharing the same moment for Jenn. I felt a connection like I had never ever felt. It was like she has guided us down there. I know that Jenn was looking down at us in that amazing moment smiling. Then, she was likely also saying to us "You idiots, you can all be on the pier at once! Move it! Now!" Jenn was an amazing Stage Manager and when she told you to move your ass you did it with quickness! A photo was captured that day of the moment and it hangs in my apartment in a place where I see it daily. It reminds me of the love that she taught us and the bond all of her friends now share. I miss that girl so much. We were all lucky to have known her during her short life. I'm blessed to have shared so many memories with her family, her friends, her loved ones - all which we hold dear in our hearts. If you are reading this and knew Jenn, please add a comment to this post. Share a memory or story or just say "I FREAKIN' MISS HER!". Jenn's spirit lives on strong after her she is gone. We all know this and all feel this. Miss ya, girl. xx.

Missed.

It's been six years since you left us, Jenn. Six long years and I still ask myself why with no acceptable answers treading in. Through each meditation on the thought of you, I'm struck with the sight of your smile. You taught love each and every day of your young short life. You are missed daily - not just on the anniversary of your passing. We are better and stronger for knowing and loving you. XoxoX. -S.

Jenn.

It's been 5 years..5 EFFIN' YEARS since Jenn passed away. I still can hardly believe it. Jenn was 25 years old when she died of cancer. Jenn is the one who kept me in NYC when I moved here. She was the one stable person who made me understand my journey in NYC. She put each and every thing in perspective as we worked, loved, matured and grew in New York. Tony, her husband and friend, who we both went to college with, was by her side and was an example of love which I was happy to witness every day. I look back on the success that I have had in NY and know that much of it has to do with the LOVE and advice that Jenn shared with me. Our friendship got us both where we needed to be. We grew from each other. It still makes NO sense why someone so amazing and beautiful is not still here today. Jenn always just got you. She was so real. She was one of those no bullshit type of people. She had a heart that was wide open and was truly devoted to those who she trusted. She would always understand what you were dealing with. She was a woman wise wise wise beyond her years. She has been amazing  - since the moment that I met her and to this day. I STILL speak to Jenn when I need her. She is a best friend. I'll be blessed with her forever...thankfully.  Love to the Carliles and the Foleys and all her friends who miss her today and always. xoxox.