{ Dashus:land }

1,2,3,4 Agreements

So I was perusing one of my fave sites Pink is the New Blog and I saw something he posted about the spokeswoman for bad extensions Britney Spears who was spotted in NYC this past weekend. He mentions that Britney was carrying a book called The Four Agreements. I LOVE that book. I have read that book so many times. It's so simple yet brilliant in its message and approach. Its a book that I think everyone should read. To see someone who is so clearly a mess like Britney, its good to see that she is reaching for some sort of balance and clarity in her life. Don Miguel Ruiz's book breaks out the 4 agreements that one must make with themselves in order to have what Ruiz considers to be "personal freedom". Nothing Ruiz writes about is earth shaking but what he does say is so beautifully worded and written that it is so hard to ignore and apply it's message.

The 4 agreements are as follows. The agreements are listed in YELLOW - In RED is a great summary based on the Ruiz's amazing book.

Agreement 1 - Be Impeccable With Your Word. 
Speak with integrity. Say only what you really mean. Avoid using the power of your word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and kindness. Our words have the power to create ripples; to create an atmosphere of safety, respect, learning and trust. They also have the power to work against our goals and the common good or purpose. Choose your words with intention to create the sort of experience you desire for yourself and others.

Agreement 2 - Don't Take Anything Personally. 
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the actions and opinions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. Nor will you feel the need to get defensive and create conflicts. It isn't necessary for us to believe other's judgments about us-- even if they are positive. Approval needs to come from within. You can trust yourself to make the right choices when you also remember not to take your own opinions of yourself too personally.

Agreement 3 - Don't Make Assumptions. 
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. Most of us have been socially trained not to ask questions at all; that it is unsafe or impolite or more than we want to know-- but making assumptions is the result that can often yield 10 times the level of discomfort-- including inner and sometimes outer conflict-- for no reason at all.

Agreement 4 - Always Do Your Best.
Your best may vary from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply challenge yourself to do your personal best-- no more, no less-- in any given moment. By doing this, you will hopefully avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Do yourself a favor and get this book. You will not be sorry. It should be in everyone's library.

The Gashlycrumb Tinies

For my 30th birthday, my boyfriend gave me a few presents that I really loved but one of them I thought was so funny and unique. He gave me a book called The Gashlycrumb Tinies which is a wickedly dark ABC book by Edward Gorey. Edward Gorey, born in Chicago in 1925, wrote more than 100 books in his very long and exhaustive career. His first work, The Unstrung Harp, was published in 1953. Gorey’s books were very hard to define. He is often considered an illustrator, but with the inclusion of words and text many considered him to be more of a cartoonist. Like the common occurrence these days of actors who sing (e.g. Nicole Kidman) and singers who act (e.g. Madonna – ok ok TRIES to act!), Gorey was the literary equivalent. He was either considered a writer who was an artist or an artist who wrote.  Many folks who I have shown the book to have already seen it but this summer was my first introduction to this book. His works were creative and experimental. Because the formats of his books ranged greatly, publishers had a difficult time putting his work in to a certain category. Gorey would create books that had no words, books that were literally matchbox-sized, pop-up books and books that just did not fit in to any mold. His books also posed the question whether they were best classified as literature for children or literature for adults. Although many of Gorey's works were popular with kids, Gorey has said that is work was never meant or intended for children. Gorey who remained single through out his life was rumored to be gay and was pressed for a response on the matter many times before his death in 2000 but never said one way or another. This is obviously the days before an artist would be outed on Perezhilton.com. Gorey said of his sexuality: "I'm neither one thing nor the other particularly. I am fortunate in that I am apparently reasonably undersexed or something... I've never said that I was gay and I've never said that I wasn't...What I'm trying to say is that I am a person before I am anything else..." There are many online versions of the The Gashlycrumb Tinies that I hope you'll check out. The Gashlycrumb Tinies is all about how 26 little children find their deaths - again, it's an ABC book. I know it sounds awful but it's pretty hysterical. If you are interested in how you would die, TAKE THE QUIZ. I love this book so much and I'm interested in collecting more of his books. He is a fantastic artist with a unique approach. I love it.